The things they could tell you...

My friends, that is. They could tell you things about me that I'd never want shared in lifetime- embarrassing things and funny things, memories we'll hold on to forever. But they could also tell you things that would make you proud.

I've come to realize that maybe the chief frustration of my time spent in Washington is that I let very few people really know me like my friends do here. I let one person know one part of me and another person another part, but I wasn't whole with anyone. Part of knowing a person comes from experiencing life together, sharing meals and sharing hard times, and I just wasn't there long enough for that to happen. I want to take some time and reflect on who I was/am here, who I was there and maybe what can be expected for the future.

Here, my friends would tell you that I'm driven. I was a straight A student, and all my major changes happened within one semester. I knew I loved the complexities of stories, grammar, writing, and poetry so I chose that academic path. I was born for stories. I did poetry readings, and I fell in love with Milton's Paradise Lost, 17th century Brit lit, Southern lit, and modern poetry all at the same time. I thought that for a long time I would end up teaching. I still think that could be in my future. I know I'm passionate about it. Even writing this I come to a point where I want to throw all other plans away and pursue a master's in literature and then go teach and watch students make connections between their own lives and the words in a novel because they related to something in Faulkner or Milton or Akhmatova. And I know without a doubt that I could do it and that I'd be really happy.

I don't know if anyone in Washington saw me as a driven, successful, passionate person. In the midst of everything going on I think I seemed a little lost. And yes, it was an extremely difficult time, but I'm a creative person. I'm an ambitious person. And I'm a passionate person. Once I set my mind to something, I work hard to get there. At the INN, all I or anyone else could see was failure. It wasn't like me. I've never really failed at anything. So it was a humbling experience. I only wish that failure wasn't the only part of me people had known. There was and is a lot more.

My friends would also tell you that I'm a dreamer. That's true. I don't give up hope easily. I might cry a lot, and there are times that I feel like I'm standing on the edge of my sanity, but I know that I will make it in this world. Being 2,000+ miles from home though, definitely weakened my spirit and this part of me was alive but quietened. I think that people around me only saw that I was depressed, not the part of me that was growing.

"Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all"
(from Hope, Emily Dickinson)

So what I wish people had known- 1) I don't usually fail (here's my pride coming in again)
2) I don't usually give up hope and 3) I'm going to be ok. It's a trying time, on my knees here praying for something to come through, but my eyes are set on Washington, for whatever reason the Lord would have me to be there. Just like I've always done, I'm following my heart, and I will get there... "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise."

New-Old Haircut

Happy Wednesday. It's better than a Hawks Day, even a winning Hawks Day.

I got my hair cut today, a $50 gift from Mom for the birthday. Michael did a great job, as usual. I'm back to the bob- shiny, sleek perfection. It funny what an hour at a salon does. I walked out feeling brand new. It was the icing on yesterday's cake.

To back up a little, I am now driving the minivan belonging to Annika while she's in Portland/Tacoma/Seattle for the holidays. It's so nice to be able to get around! I've missed my music and my alone time. I'm also working at Rembrandt's over the holidays. Chattanooga's favorite barista will be back in action tomorrow! Megan moved to Atlanta on Monday so we loaded the minivan with about 7 tubs of clothes, an ironing board, a bathroom cabinet, etc. and headed down to Georgia. I got back yesterday and stayed the night with Jody.

So yesterday's cake...
Last night I watched To Kill a Mockingbird. I loved the book so I wasn't sure how I would feel about the movie, but the man who played Atticus Finch was dreamy, and everything played out exactly as I had pictured. It was fun to watch an old movie on the couch.

I also got to talk with Mama Sanger for quite a while, which absolutely made my night. I adore her, and I feel more than blessed to have her in my life. After we got off the phone, all of the anxiety that I had been feeling about this-that-and-the-other had been calmed and I was excited again about Washington. Not that I'm not always excited to some extent, but sometimes it gets lost in the midst of other things.

Then, I got to reconnect with Johnathan since he's been back in Seattle and I've been back in Tennessee. We've talked some, but last night we really got to catch up. If you had told me 5 years ago when I met him that I'd end up moving to Seattle and that we'd be hanging out/going on dates, I wouldn't have believed you. It's funny to think about us then working at Hollister, going to formals, and essentially me running away from him for no good reason, and now here I am, moving to Seattle where he lives. I remember when he used to talk about Washington, and I didn't listen at all. Now it's the place I'm making my home. When I get back he's taking me to Chateau Ste. Michelle and to a casino. What a combination, and what fun it will be.

I'm sleepy again. Must be the excitement and a little bit of being sick. Here's to the future and to a nap.

It's Christmas Time in the (smaller) City

I'm applying for jobs. I'm driving a minivan that doesn't belong to me. I'm sharing beds and couches with friends. And I'm loving life, despite the lack of income and clarity. I'm embracing this time, and I'm rejecting mixed CDs that only make me sentimental for times gone by. I want to live right now.

It's cold here, but I bet it's colder there. This bit of writing is incoherent. Just writing to remind myself that I'm alive. Words, words, words.

It's not really a breakup

with the Pacific Northwest that is. I said "I quit you West Coast," but it's only for a short time. I need to come home and fill up. I need to come home and be with friends and family for Thanksgiving, and my birthday and Christmas. I just need to re-center and remember and then come back.

I know that I go back and forth on so many things and ideas and plans. I just work things out in my mind by saying them out loud. That's why I like Ansel Sanger- he gets that. So to everyone who has heard some or all or parts of my planning, I'm sorry if I've exhausted you with random ideas and future projections.

Bellingham-the INN- Bellingham jobs- Children of the Nations, Seattle- Bellingham jobs-
Seattle jobs- No jobs- No car- Car=job - Car, Seattle? - Car- Chattanooga? -
No car= bum around - place to live? - Seattle in January - job/car to get to Seattle in January? - Move in with parents? - job? - car?
- Seattle?

This web of a mess of questions is always rolling around in my head. What do you do when plans don't work out? I have nothing here. No car to get to a job, no professional clothes to even interview, only a temporary place to stay, and no furniture even if I did have a place of my own. But I'm supposed to be out here. I know it.

So I bought a ticket home for the holidays. I'll be home in 7 days. How am I going to get around? I don't know. Where will I work? I don't know. How will I get back here? Probably a plane ticket with my birthday money unless by the grace of God I end up with a car, and then I'll drive out West. (What an adventure that will be!!) I basically have no answers, but I know that I have to get back here. Something will turn up out here. Something is in the works behind the scenes.

Ok God, I'm trusting you to turn my best laid plans into something great because right now, they're a mess.

Mercy. That's what I want for Christmas. (And a car.) I want my friends and family to try to understand that this is it for me. This journey that I'm on is worth it to me. If it doesn't make sense or seems irrational and irresponsible, know that I'm doing the best I can.

Yes, I'm in debt. When a job comes through out here though, I won't be anymore. I want to pay things off. I want to start fresh. But since my senior year of college, the economy has been terrible. It would have been great to have had a good paying job right out of college and be on my way to debt-free already, but I've taken the jobs that have come. Even if it's not apparent, know that my mind and heart are working hard to figure out a life for myself. Also, let's put our faith in God that he will see this through.

Now I feel like I'm writing an apology for my life and my decisions. And I've felt like I need to do that since I got out here. But this life is my own. I decided to come home for the holidays, and it's in my plan to get back out here as soon as possible. Before January 1. New Years. It's a must. My heart says so.

I'm excited to be coming home for the holidays, but I'm greatly anticipating my return to Seattle. Cheers Chattanooga, Fayetteville, and the Pacific Northwest.

See you soon friends.

A New Perspective

I haven't written since I came back from visiting Tennessee. I got back a the end of August, started my internship at the ministry September 2nd, and left the ministry October 14th. A month and half has felt more like nine, carrying a weight that I hoped would birth something beautiful. Instead, it's all a little like Benjamen Button. What was born was premature and already dying. I can only hope, and I have faith, that what was born will grow into something wonderful, and will end with a childlike wonder at miracles.

This Tennessee, Southern girl, stands now at the foot of the mountains, at the edge of the bay with arms wide open, welcoming the breeze on her cheek and the fog all around. It has been said time and time again, but I find it to be ever true that God does indeed work in mysterious ways. I've already learned so much...

1
God is no respecter of plane tickets or miles. His plan, if you are willing to follow Him, may cost you.

2
Even when God has brought you to the limit, to the edge, to the other side of the country, He doesn't leave you. He may be quieter than usual, but He's there.

3
People are people. Tennessee, Washington, student, graduate, ministry staff, alcoholic, mover and shaker, the one who doesn't budge... We're all broken. And we're all amazing.

4
God works just as much through the Pickle Barrel Bar or Lamar's Lounge as he does through Calvary Chapel church or the INN ministries. He speaks, he heals, he brings people together, and it's up to us to listen to where he has asked us to go or be. I was no closer or further from God in "ministry" than when I was at a bar with my dearest friends.

5
God must delight in the unfolding of his plan. Like watching a child on a scavenger hunt for buried treasure, the writer of the life map I'm on is smiling, I think, to watch me follow where he leads.

6
God brings people into our life unexpectedly, even for a month, that change us. God uses us to make each other better. The Emily's, Patrick's, and Ansel's will never be the Laurren's, the David's, or the Megan's, but just the opposite is true too. Everyone means something different, and every person is dear to me. I believe if we listen, God whispers and draws us near to each other so that we may delight and challenge each other for the better.

7
I am not always right. My way is not always the best. Sometimes it is better to listen and not to defend. Selfishness is a disease, and I am infected. Lord, and friends, have mercy on me.

8
Miles and time cannot separate us from Love. No matter if I don't see or talk to my friends at home for days, weeks, a month, I still love them and adore them more than I can explain. How much more is this true of God? He just keeps loving me, even when I'm far away from Him, even when I don't call or write.

9
The world is rich and full of beauty. I believe there is no place on earth that doesn't reveal the glory of God in some way. And as long as there are coffee shops and books and music and paintings and glasses of wine and cats that run away, the little things in life will continue to inspire me, just as much as the mountains, the bay, and the hills of my home.

10
I have discovered a passion that has been in my heart all along, but I n ever knew it. I love the South, and I believe God loves the South. He loves Africa, and the Dominican, and New Orleans and "those" places... He has blessed the Pacific Northwest with sustainability and affluence and a pretty cool culture, my heart and I believe God's too hold a place for the Southern skies. I see needs for better education, for a greener way of life, for economic stability in our communities. This may be my life-long passion. I don't know when I'll return... I guess when God is ready for me to, and when I do, I will run. I will fall down on my knees and praise the God who formed me from Alabama red clay and who made cotton and the sunset that disappears into the Tennessee River. I'll praise the God who carved the cliffs, who shaped the rolling hills, who makes thunderstorms for watchin' on front porches and who lights up the fireflies on Southern summer nights. And when I'm there, you can have my life Dear Dixieland. Until then, adieu.

Southern traditions in transition...

"I wish I was in the land of cotton...

Old times they are not forgotten
Look away, look away,
look away, Dixie Land..."

Megan sang that song at the beginning of the DVD she made for me when I left. As I remember it, I almost cry (again). I do miss Tennessee. I left a lot of loose ends and a lot of things unsaid. In one way, I left bravely: I came to Washington with very little to my name, I left everything I knew, I was determined to find work and to make friends. I jumped in head first. On the other hand, I chose not to face some things that I knew were important. There were things I should have said to both of my parents. I should have said some things to my sister. I should have dealt with divorce and death out loud instead of in my head, 2000 miles away.

The time I've spent here thus far has been valuable. I've been able to process with a lot of time and a lot of freedom. I have lacked community though. I know some people, but I haven't developed deep relationships here yet. Without a car to get around at night (when the 20-something year olds hang out) I'm left on my own much of the time. After being by myself for long periods of time, it becomes harder and harder to function in groups. I end up feeling super awkward. So I've got a lot going on in my head about life, death, my faith, etc. and not a lot of opportunity to cry on a shoulder that feels familiar, one that knows me.

I will develop those relationships, but they come with time. Right now, I need a community that will help me to remember where I've come from and what God has done in my life. I can't wait to have those kinds of relationships here with staff and co-interns, but the things I'm dealing with right now are things from home, and I want to be known. When the students come back for school, when the internship actually starts, life will be on again. I will be busy, and I'll be probably overwhelmed with opportunities to connect with people. That will be awesome.

Until then, I'm going to breathe Tennessee air. I'm going to say some things I should have said before, and I'm going to sit on a front porch in Chattanooga wasting my nights with friends I love so dearly. I'll come back refreshed, and I'll jump back in.

Premiere: Volcano Choir:

Premiere: Volcano Choir: "Island, IS"

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It's 64 degrees here.

I'm cold.

Americano, check. Cable knit cardigan, check. New local Bellingham band playing through the earbuds, check. Any sense of warmth of the 5th of August, blank box.

So life in Bellingham is good. I found some awesome antique shops with Ty. In them in found some awesome vintage dresses, shoes, birdcages, etc. You should come visit. I went to a new restaurant, Chuckanut Brewery. In it I found great beer and clam chowder. You should come visit. I also found a great afternoon wine bar, the Temple Bar. It would be perfect on Tremont with the girls. Hey, girls, you should come visit. Larabee and Clayton beach, which I explored yesterday offer some pretty sweet hiking and bouldering. Today is Avellino, and tonight is the Rogue Hero to see the Keaton Collective show. Myspace indicates that they might be what I've been looking for musically here, or at least a step in the right direction.

It feels like fall here, and I'm happy. But I want you to come visit.

A Perfect Yesterday

Yesterday I slept till almost noon then took a bus to Fairhaven. )I stopped by Avellino before boarding the bus for the barista special of the day: a grande brown sugar cinnamon latte for $2.50!) It was my first day exploring Fairhaven completely on my own. I went in almost every shop, browsing boutiques of clothes and shoes and vintage finds. There were more cafes, wine shops, kitchen shops, garden shops, some alehouses. I ended the Fairhaven excursion in Fairhaven with a stop into Archers, where I enjoyed a Fuller’s ESB on tap and the Salmon Jap Chipotle spread for the happy hour price of $8 and some change. I caught up with friends on the phone, enjoying my beer until my phone almost died. It was wonderful!
When I got back downtown, on bus #2 of the day, I came back to Avellino’s for their delicious caramel iced Americano, made with real house-made caramel. Delicious. Spent more time talking to dear friends until my phone did, in fact, give up on me. I walked up to the Ving! Playhouse with Emily Nelson and Amy to watch Paige’s modern dance show, and it was absolutely wonderful. It was hot like a country church revival in August. I kept thinking that it was like being in prayer. Like worship. It was an hour and half of celebrating the body, dance, the human spirit. We really are beautiful creatures. I felt my whole body relaxing as the show moved on. It was like a massage, and I didn’t want to do anything when it was over.
So I didn’t. I came home and ate thai food and had a glass of wine. It was lovely.

The afternoon hours today find me at Avellino, again, for free flavor Friday. Ginger snaps and air conditioning. This place is a little like Greyfriar’s too. It’s definitely brighter, in all regards, but with the tables outside and the regulars and deliciousness… It feels more and more like home here everyday. I do miss Chattanooga, and I wish so much that I could fly home for the weekend just to see friends’ faces, but it’s good to be here too. TGIF, right?

pictures!

New, short hair cut

My unfinished bicycle, sweet.

Lettered Streets Coffeehouse, close to my house

A goat going for a walk on a leash in my neighborhood... random

Camping Friday night

Camping Saturday

A cool mural next to The Hub bicycle shopAt Boulevard Park

At Avellino Coffeehouse

It's Tuesday

at 2:09pm, 5:09 in Chattanooga.

I miss friends at home. I'm very ok, but I have a genuine longing to see familiar faces. Bellingham is wonderful, but I feel the tension between wanting to be 100% here and knowing my obligations to keep in contact with family and friends. I feel an obligation to call people probably more than they expect, but I almost feel like I've failed before I've even started because I always should have called yesterday. So family, friends, new friends reading this... please know that even if I fail to call you, that means things are great. That means that I'm busy and meeting people and building relationships with people here. I'm exploring and keeping busy. It does not mean that I don't think about you. I do. A lot. But if I called everyone I was thinking of, when I was thinking of them at all, I'd be on the phone all day, and I wouldn't be living. So be patient please. We will talk. I'm sure of it, but for now I'm trying to create my own space here as much as possible.

In other news in Bellingham, I had a delicious Indian dinner with my co-INNtern Emily Nelson last night. Yum! I made a new friend named Earl, a friend of the family's. I totally thought he was 31 or 32. Nope. He's 23, and I didn't find that out until after hanging out and eating frozen yogurt and trying to make 30-year-old conversation. Oops. I have not hung out with the INNterns much since I moved in with the host family. I'm just a little farther away now. We're going to be spending close to 27/7 together soon enough though. I'm babysitting Milan and Chase tonight for the fam so they can go out of town. I think we'll take a bike ride to dinner somewhere fun so as to not mess up the house. I know I would spend most of the night cleaning up after them! Tomorrow I'm going to have coffee with Lindsay senior-staff-but-oh-so-young Anderson, and Thursday night go see Paige in a ballet with Emily. Good times here... minus the 90 degree weather. 100 tomorrow! Very un-Bellingham weather I'm told.

Anyway, I've posted some pictures on my facebook, but I'll repost them...

I'm finally here.

After months of planning, waiting, stalling, rushing, crying, laughing, etc. I'm finally here. Hello, Bellingham, Washington.

I've been here for one week and one day now. It's not home, but it's comfortable. It's beautiful, and the weather is awesome. I'm living with my host family, Dave and Kelli Gauthier, and their two kids Milan, 7, and Chase, 4 and 1/2. It's a great house with a garden full of wonderful things, and a neighborhood overflowing with kids. I'm close to downtown and the office, which is nice, and biking has been generally pleasant.

I'm frequenting some pretty cool local spots like the Lettered Streets Coffeehouse, Avellino coffeehouse, Boundary Bay restaurant and brewery, Everyday Music, the lakes, and we're going camping this weekend toward Mt. Baker. The bay is key to the feel of this place. There's usually a breeze, and there's something about the view that reminds me of the Walnut St. bridge in Chattanooga. It's not the same at all, but it's that feeling at sunset of "Wow, I live in a really beautiful place."

There will be pictures to come, I hope. I shouldn't have waited so long to write since I arrived because now there seems to be too much to say. I hate sweeping generalizations about things. I will say this though, very specifically...

There could be a thousand reasons for my being drawn to this place. There could be another thousand reasons for which I'm actually here. I do know that a person only lives once, and although I will miss the times shared with dear friends at home, this is a season for other things, and I mean to live every moment as something to be treasured. I may never know for which moment I was made to come alive in here, perhaps like never before, but I have a feeling that moment will come again and again and be many.

Here's to Bellingham...

Home is hard.

I'm sitting at the edge of one week with coffee and a quiche at Elk River Coffee in Fayetteville, TN. In two days I'll be back in Chattanooga to say some goodbyes and have one last weekend of memories. In the window here where I sit, I'm facing my mom's new apartment right off of the town square. It sits above a cosmetic store, an J. Paul's Insurance, an investment company and a thrift store. It's a new Fayetteville for me, a new home, a new not-home. As much as I want to embrace this place as my roots and the place of rest for my heart, I'm struggling to want to be here very much. It's lonely for me here, especially with my sister on vacation. She'll be back tomorrow, but then I leave on Friday for Chattanooga again. I've enjoyed seeing my great aunt and talking with my grandpa, but home itself is hard.

I must not be meant for this place.

I'm also fighting my Washington feelings right now. I am excited to be going, and I know it's going to be an adventure and a time to grow and learn and live. I know that the Lord will be with me in the place that I've been guided to. He may stand back and be silent, or he may be very vocal about what I'm doing. Maybe he trusts me to make my own decisions and not to expect him to think for me. Of course I want and crave his direction, but he still leaves me in control of my life, surrendering my will to his, but really I'm still the one living out my existence. (These musing may be loaded and may require further processing.) I just worry that I will feel alone. I'm going to miss my life in Chattanooga. I know that life goes on with or without me, and I worry about being forgotten. Sharing moments with my best friends is not an option for the next year of my life.

It's my turn to go out on my own I guess. Megan has her music, Laurren is a kick-ass professional, D-Haines is doing Nashville, Alan is too old to pin down to one thing or another that he's done that has meant something. He's done a lot. Ann is going to grad school, Drew has moved and come back as has Sarah. Rachel... she's definately lived. Danielle works it in Chattanooga. Me? I've lived too. But what's my thing? I guess school was, but school is over. It's time for me to go on and go out. I may miss Chattanooga with a bleeding heart, but I need to go and see and do and learn to love more and other people. I don't think God is content for me to only love some. And to be frank, I could be better at loving the people I already love too. Maybe that's what this year is: a lesson in loving... among other things.

There's only so much I can process at a time when my two subjects are 2,000 some odd miles apart. Here's to one week. Here's to Tennessee. Here's to you that I love. Here's to a new iPhone, rain gear, and a sic road bike...

So little time!

I flew to Washington. And I fell in like/close to love with the city and the people I met there. Bellingham is absolutely beautiful, and I wished that my dear friends could have been with me to see the Bay at sunset or to sit with me at Avellino in the afternoons. That place is the Stone Cup of Bellingham in atmosphere, but bettter I think.

I also found my Greyfriars, which of course made me feel at home, but not at home all the same. The guy who took my order had a lip ring... Of course I love it there.


And there was Rudy's Pizza, which was virtually Lupi's. Awesome.







The Bay was by far the best part of Bellingham. Well, that and Fairhaven, which I want to marry.



(I didn't take these pictures, obviously, because here Fairhaven is in the snow.)





Besides the city, the INN was a LOT to take in! The people are really great, and the students were super nice. All the interns are great, and I'm sure I'll blog about them all at some point and make some predictions for next year. The ministry is a lot more structured than what I'm used to, but I think it will be really good for me. I probably need to be more comfortable with structure...

I actually liked Bellingham enough that I'm trying to move there early. I was going to go at the end of August, but now it's looking more like July. I haven't bought a plane ticket yet because I haven't gotten my car sold, but as soon as that transaction takes place, I'm on my way! I'm ready to be there and start this new chapter. I'm sure I will become more and more of an emotional wreck as I start to say my slow goodbyes and it sinks in that I'm actually getting on a plane with a one way ticket. But it's good. It's good to be going and changing and growing and risking and setting out west.

What a season this has been. I feel that it's coming to a close and a new season is beginning soon. I'll write a wrap up maybe of the past few months and hopefully have some closure and some insight into what God has been doing in my life, even if I haven't admitted to Him, myself, or anyone else that it IS a God thing.

So little time Chattanooga, so little time...

The Rainy Season

In three days I'll be in Bellingham, Washington! I remember looking at pictures before I interviewed there one afternoon and almost coming to tears thinking about how good God is and must be. The past few weeks have been a series of ups and downs, tears and laughter, a lot of questions and not so many answers.

This is the one response that has calmed my heart though: God is still in control. He is too wonderful for me to understand, but I think he delights in my search for Him. He has said, "Be still, and know that I am God." It's hard to be still, and even harder to trust faithfully when I'm moving about so much mentally. So yes, I still question. I still wonder, and I still doubt. BUT, He holds me in his hands. I am safe with Him. I'm safe from my doubts, from my weakness, and ultimately from who I was. Praise God!


This season in my life was unexpected, but this season is for growth and renewal. Even when I don't feel like worshiping, when I don't feel like He's near... I do trust in Him. If I can't love the way I want to or be "in the moment" with Him, I still lift my eyes to Heaven and lift my heart to Him.

Obedience in the storm. Hope for a brighter tomorrow. Peace in his Love.
Amen.

"To the pure, all things are pure"

says John Milton.

I want to be pure then. It's so hard to make sense of God's goodness in the midst of death. My dear friend Katie is gone, as is Kyle. It's been two weeks of sadness. For those around me, and even for myself, I'm searching for the words to say that might alleviate some of the hurt for now. I'm searching for words that bring peace. I know that Peace is Christ alone.

I want to see the deaths of those I knew and loved and the pain of those around me as something pure, as something purely good. I want to believe that God's goodness is still on the throne, and I know that it is. My human, broken mind and heart cannot understand though. Why Katie? Why now? Was this your plan for her, Lord? If your plan for her was different, then why did she still die? And why Laurren? Why does she have to suffer so much? Why Kyle? How does your knowing that his life would end so quickly mean that you are Good to let him go?


I only trust and have utmost faith that You Are Good, Father. I do not understand your Goodness. It is beyond my comprehension, but You are too wonderful for me. On this earth, I will never fully grasp the mystery and mercy of the cross, but I put all the faith and hope of my life on your death. I trust in what I cannot see. I hope in what I cannot understand, but my heart sings of the Lord's goodness.

My heart and my flesh may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
Psalm 73: 26