says John Milton.
I want to be pure then. It's so hard to make sense of God's goodness in the midst of death. My dear friend Katie is gone, as is Kyle. It's been two weeks of sadness. For those around me, and even for myself, I'm searching for the words to say that might alleviate some of the hurt for now. I'm searching for words that bring peace. I know that Peace is Christ alone.
I want to see the deaths of those I knew and loved and the pain of those around me as something pure, as something purely good. I want to believe that God's goodness is still on the throne, and I know that it is. My human, broken mind and heart cannot understand though. Why Katie? Why now? Was this your plan for her, Lord? If your plan for her was different, then why did she still die? And why Laurren? Why does she have to suffer so much? Why Kyle? How does your knowing that his life would end so quickly mean that you are Good to let him go?
I only trust and have utmost faith that You Are Good, Father. I do not understand your Goodness. It is beyond my comprehension, but You are too wonderful for me. On this earth, I will never fully grasp the mystery and mercy of the cross, but I put all the faith and hope of my life on your death. I trust in what I cannot see. I hope in what I cannot understand, but my heart sings of the Lord's goodness.
My heart and my flesh may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
Psalm 73: 26
Perhaps this is not a good thing. Perhaps the fact this is not a good thing points to the fact the God is good. Perhaps God's goodness is dependent on this not being a good thing. The Apostle proclaimed that death was the last enemy to be defeated (1 Cor 15:55) and Jesus proved it. Not only would the love of the cross triumph over the pangs of Satan to give comfort, he would also rise from the dead with the power to overcome death. The Christian hope is not contentment, it is resurrection. If death were not the greatest enemy of God and man then Jesus did not conquer he simply subverted or changed life. However, as it stands he stared death and Satan in the face and said "no more!" And with a mighty work of the Spirit the Son of God was raised (Rom 8:11) giving the world a new hope- a hope of love in the midst of pain and a future hope of loving forever at the resurrection of the dead. Christian hope has always been looking forward to that great day. So I exhort you sister be not content with the enemies devices but look forward, have faith, that God is bigger than our expectations and can actually give life to the lifeless. Only in this way do we extol God for who He claims to be in the person of Jesus. Amen! Come Lord Jesus!
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