Home.
There are some people who can make it anywhere. I think I could be one of those people, but just because I can doesn't mean that I should want to.
My time hasn't been wasted. I've worked hard, and I've accomplished some things. I've had a good look at myself, and I've been faced with the reality that I can't always have what I want. It's been an eventful year. This time last year I had just accepted a job in Bellingham and was anxious to come visit at the end of May . By July I had moved out here, ready to begin a new adventure. What I didn't realize is that the adventure is within myself. It's not to be found out West.
Yes, location plays a role in an adventure, for sure. I have no regrets in coming back to Washington in January to give it a second chance. Washington has provided a retreat, a quietness, a place to dream big. But you know what I dream about? Having people in my life- not a job, not a place, but people that I care about. What good is a job or a city that has everything you could ever want if you're alone?
The answer is different for everyone. I'm not claiming to have it all figured out. I'm not claiming that I've found the secret to living well. I have a friend who spent the past 4 months on the other side of the world by herself. She made friends of course, but she went alone. I really connected with that- but she and I are not the same person, and we didn't have the same experience. Is she braver than me? Maybe so. But my life is my own, and I can't live in on someone else's standards.
Yes, I want to be successful. I want to be able to take care of myself, but I also don't want to be alone.
I love Chattanooga. Maybe someday I'll end up in Nashville or some other place in the south, but for now I think Chattanooga is where I'll be. It's the kind of soil I bloom in, and I don't want to wither anymore. I need TN sunshine. I've learned that although I have an adventurous spirit, I'm not suited to leave the South alone and on my own. Nashville, where I have friends, maybe. But not somewhere alone again. It sounded poetic and exciting- it's lonely and not as glamorous as I imagined.
"When visiting Tennessee in the spring it is hard to miss the daffodils blooming. They are everywhere, along roadsides, in the woods and scattered throughout fields. It is little wonder that these cheerful plants are used extensively in home gardens. Preferring well-drained soil and plenty of sunshine, daffodils are a top choice for Tennessee gardeners."
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